She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sarcasm needs its own font
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize