Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
