I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
