somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
