the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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