4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I have post one night stand depression
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize