We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
