This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
