forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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