Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
