I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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