Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.

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(786): View more from Florida

You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.

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(636): View more from Missouri

She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome

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(706): View more from Georgia

I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.

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(269): View more from Michigan

just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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(817): View more from Texas

I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?

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(407): View more from Florida

I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.

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(713): View more from Texas

You threw up everything but your ovaries.

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