Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
