Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
