It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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