You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
