Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
