so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
