Define "chronic" masturbator.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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