Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
