did you get engaged???
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
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