I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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