she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
