a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
