her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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