hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
