so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
