you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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