I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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