There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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