rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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