i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
