i'm signing you up for texting rehab
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize