Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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