Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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