I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
