I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
