Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
