Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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