btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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