Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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