i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
