why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
