hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
