Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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