i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
