talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
