school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
