You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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