So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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