I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
