I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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