i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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