our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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