He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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