I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just gift wrapped bread.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
