What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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